If you follow me on Facebook, then you probably see occasional attempts to make you laugh, sometimes with accompanying pictures. If you don’t, then why the hell not? Usually every few weeks I have to take all the pictures off my phone to make room for more, and I come across something I thought was funny, reminded me of a story, etc. but didn’t share anywhere. Here are some pictures from this time last year. This Week In Memories November Two Thousand Sixteen.
Roughly one year ago I found out they made Dark Chocolate Kit Kats. A glorious day for me. Other than Mars Bars (which they don’t make anymore), Kit Kats were always the favorite. But since my body began to slowly defy me regarding anything milk-related, I can’t eat them. Until now. I’ve learned that most dark chocolate candy is made with very little to no milk at all, which is ideal for me. I never cared for dark chocolate before, but now that it’s my only option, I’ve learned to like it quite a bit. This DCKK doesn’t compare to the original, but it’s a good replacement.
After finding this, I remembered a very random moment from college that still makes me laugh. I don’t remember the year, I think 2000 or 2001. I went to my friend Amy’s apartment and pulled out a Kit Kat, opened the wrapper and started eating it. The look on Amy’s face became instant confusion and terror. I can still easily recall her exact words as if she were writing this very sentence: “Boy you break off those pieces.” You see, I had committed the cardinal sin of eating a Kit Kat without snapping the sticks, with every intention of avoiding milk chocolate melting all over my fingers (we all know you can’t hold a Kit Kat in its wrapper for more than 3 seconds without instantly melting the chocolate; it’s impossible). I proceeded to take another bite, with her face only reinforcing what she had just said audibly; she meant business. I had to break off those pieces or face the consequences.
And just so you know, I ate the rest of the KK as the chocolate gods intended, thus maintaining our friendship.
Bonus: THERE ARE DIRECTIONS ON HOW TO OPEN A KIT KAT. The only humans who don’t know how to open wrapped candy are those too young to have learned how to read. And even then they’ll rip shit open out of sheer curiosity and kid strength.
More Random Pictures
They love each other occasionally
We played at a park near the beach in Ocean Springs. In November. Tells you just how warm it usually still is in November in the south.
Every time we visit my parents in Mississippi, I make a trip early as hell to Tatonut, a place people from Ocean Springs better know as the BEST DONUT SHOP ON EARTH. Don’t dispute it, it’s fact. When I return to the house with our bounty, usually the kids are finally up. I spotted this little buster when I got back and it freaked me out just a little.