Embarrassing Story Of The Month – November

On the way to drop my son off at pre-school the other day, an embarrassing story about myself popped in my head, from many years ago, and I don’t have a clue why. As I thought about it, sharing it felt like a funny idea. This is not that story; I’m still working it out and probably share it next month. 

I’m certain I’ve embarrassed myself enough in my life to make this a regular series. Some of these embarrassing tales may only be a sentence long, because there isn’t much of a story, but still truly embarrassing to me. And hopefully I paint a clear enough picture so you can see just how much of an idiot I can be.

Location: University of Alabama. Year: 2000; probably spring time if I’m guessing. Walking to class one morning, towards the quad. (On my most recent visit to the university, despite all of the incredible growth of the school/campus, the quad hasn’t changed a bit, and I love that.)

Keep in mind, I am not deaf. I am also not blind. So I have those senses working for me, but not this day my friends. Because I don’t see, or hear, a freaking sprinkler shoot water RIGHT INTO MY DAMN FACE. And from a considerable distance. But don’t worry, an attractive girl was there walking by to see it. Luckily the water evaporated instantly off my face because I was so hot with rage and fury.

Oddly enough I can still see my best friend laughing uncontrollably after I told him what happened. It’s the kind of thing I wish I could extract a video from my memory, mainly to see how furious I was, and exactly how I tried to play it off. Because this isn’t an “oops, I tripped slightly over my feet and recover immediately” type event. Water from a landscaping sprinkler maliciously shot its dirty earth water into my face, which had to be intentional.

But I also have questions for the landscaping crew responsible for this travesty. Why in the hell were they watering the grass in the morning when students would clearly be walking to class? I’m not in the profession, but isn’t it best to water grass at night so the water doesn’t evaporate quickly in the heat? Far as I remember, it’s always been hellishly hot in Alabama, for most of the year. So if it’s spring time in Tuscaloosa, likely shorts weather during the day.

If you’re reading this and you too have been struck in the face, unexpectedly, by a landscaping sprinkler and didn’t deserve it, please share so my Idiot Meter goes from a 10 to at least an 8.

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